I believe in The Secret. Even before the book came out I believed that we language our universe. I know so many people who create their own miserable prisons. “Life is so hard.” “Nothing works out for me.” The universe is listening and it gives you what you believe you deserve. I also know folks who despite challenging circumstances and situations speak blessings into their lives. They live on the bright side. Life really is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent perception (or however that quote goes). What you see in your mind you will hold in your hand and what you believe will manifest in your reality.
Now that I am a brand new Mommy I feel the weight of the words people put on my daughter. I feel the weight of my own words on her.
I don’t believe it’s my job to mold her. I believe she came through me with her own mission and talents. See I didn’t make her…God did. I was just the vessel for her to come through. Her father and I are here to raise her, to guide her, to help her and most importantly to help her hone all her innate gifts until they shine for the world to see. I believe this with my entire being and yet…there are my words.
I talk to my daughter all the time. I give a running commentary of everything we do. “Mommy is gonna change that diaper babygirl.” “Let’s go outside little mama.” I talk to her all the time. And even though she can’t answer me yet I pause and insert her own answers. *Here begins the slippery slope*
"Mommy is gonna kiss that baby’s neck. Do you like it when I kiss that neck?"
"Oh yes…yes Mommy I love it when you kiss my neck."
Now this might be a silly example but it is a true one. LOL I just did this. And I caught myself. How do I know she likes it? She is one month old. I like kissing her neck but I have no proof that she likes it. In a million little ways all the people who love her are already exerting our opinions and desires on her little seven pound frame.
I have heard relatives create whole futures for her.
"You are going to be a dancer. Aren’t you little one? I can tell you are going to perform. Look at those long legs. Look at my little dancer."
"Oh you are going to be a terror aren’t you? Yes I can see it already. You are going to be a spoiled little terror and drive Mommy and Daddy crazy. Poor Mommy and Daddy."
It makes me crazy…and yet…I do it too. I catch myself doing it all the time. Her silence allows us all to impose our own dreams and imaginings on her. Each time I hear someone else doing it or catch myself doing it I silently promise her that as soon as she finds her voice I will listen to it. No she won’t always get her way but I am going to work hard to listen for who and what SHE wants to be.I am going to try not to marry too many of my dreams for her so I have room for her dreams for herself.
But in the meantime I am probably going to continue believing that she loves it when I kiss her little neck. ;-)